(Note: The following is transcribed from an alternate universe where Michael S. Alford, common guy extraordinaire, ascended to the Presidency of the United States in the 2020 election--an election billed as 'the freest and safest election ever'. The speech was made from inside Independence Hall in Philadelphia Pennsylvania, and was not accompanied by scary lights,)
My fellow Americans, I am honored to be here tonight in a room where history literally was made. In this room better men than I--better men than most, took ideas that had existed in part for centuries and forged them into the first halting steps of a great ongoing experiment in human liberty. The time was right, and the requisite characters were available on history's stage to answer a burning question; can a people govern themselves? Can a people create and sustain a society without the meddling of kings and potentates? Can a people handle their own affairs better than some far-flung elite can? It turns out they can. The ideals enshrined in this room have benefitted--even blessed , me. These ideals have blessed you. These ideals have blessed the world. My goodness, do you ever just stop and think about it?
The men in this room had their flaws, and their blind spots. They couldn't fix every societal problem any more than you or I can. But what was begun here has flung light and liberty into so many corners of the world. Men breathe free on entire continents because of what happened right here in this room. It's remarkable, and I am not ashamed of it.
For decades, our nation was involved in a 'Cold War'. It was a time marked by suspicion and distrust where the two most powerful nations bristled towards each other, fought proxy wars and threatened each other with weapons capable of destroying all human life. What finally brought that terrible period to an end wasn't armies marching through the streets, but rather ideas marching into the hearts of men. Ideas of liberty and freedom brought down tyranny where weaponry could not. That is also remarkable, and I am not ashamed of it.
In this nation we don't have an all-powerful federal machine or an all-knowing executive branch. Instead we have fifty independent sovereign states held together in a loose alliance towards their mutual benefit. Within those states we have thousands of counties --or parishes , and tens of thousands of individual communities; functional real-world, boots on the ground laboratories where the ongoing experiment in human liberty can continue to be carried out. This experiment may be fraught with mis-steps and course corrections, but its still an experiment worth continuing. Its remarkable, and I am not ashamed of it.
When I first decided to enter public office, I took inspiration from a great man of my time, Dr. Ron Paul, and my burning desire was to see a rebirth of human liberty in my country. For decades the shining gem of freedom had become overgrown with overreach, and it needed to be be cut back. That has been the focus of my administration. I aspire to have less power than my predecessors and to leave office with less power than what I came in with. Presidents typically begin speeches with the phrase 'my fellow Americas'. It's a tradition , but its a tradition that means something. We don't address you as subjects, but as equals, and it is my intention that when my contribution towards this experiment is over, to take a cue from another great, though oft-neglected President Calvin Coolidge and melt back into obscurity.
In the meantime my goals are to get off your back and out of your pocket. The actual Constitutional duties of a President are surprisingly sparse, and I'm certain that the states have both better ideas and the actual authority to implement them. Don't look to Washington ; look to yourselves, and look to your neighbors. That's the real spirit that was birthed in this room, and if we lose that, we lose everything.
On a more personal note, I'd like to speak for just a moment not as the head of the executive branch, but as a fellow American. Liberty in scripture is always tied to personal righteousness. A man who cannot control himself will find himself controlled by something or someone else, and the God who grants liberty can withdraw it if a free people use their liberty as a cloak for maliciousness.. Over reach doesn't happen in a vacuum. What I need to do, what we all need to do, is look within ourselves and ask am I the sort of person who deserves to be free? Am I part of the problem?
Nobody is going to enforce anything that I just said. Nobody is going to come to your house to see if you are doing right. That would be un-American. But its worth considering--the actions our lives have on the state of our community and the state of our country. Part of the responsibility of self-governance is actually being responsible and actually governing yourself.
Friends, fellow citizens. I stand here in a remarkable room in a remarkable country with a remarkable history. None of us need to be ashamed of any of that. Thank you for your time, and good night.
