Friday, February 22, 2013

A Note to Self

You know what your problem is? You are your problem. You have always been  your biggest problem. Remember when you thought that a change of  jobs, or a change of  churches or a change of spouses would fix the problem? Things might have run  smooth for some time following the change. But after a while, the same problems showed back up.  The only thing the  two jobs or the two churches or the two spouses had in common was You. You are the problem.
  Oh trust me, I know how this works.  You  doesn’t want to be blamed, so You blames everybody else. I wouldn’t lose my temper with my  kids if they were better behaved, You pleads. My marriage would be better if my wife was more receptive, more understanding, You claims. You offers evidence that you would be a better employee if management would only listen, or more money was offered. Those might be valid concerns, but they aren’t the problem. You are the problem. See, that's You's  modus operandi; You demands that the solution to every problem is for somebody else to change, somebody else to adjust, somebody else to structure themselves around who? Why You, of course!  Why is everybody else expected to adjust why You remains the same? See what a troublemaker You is? Can you begin to see why sometimes other people  don't  really want You around? You really want to know why your kids drive you bonkers sometimes? it's because they act just like You, and them acting like You  keeps You from doing what You wants to do!
  Oh sure, You can be  quite pleasant when You are getting your way.  And You might even be able to endure a bit of discomfort if You can convince yourself that  its worth it, or that its temporary. But let that discomfort carry on for any  significant length of time, and You's true colors start to show. It's all about You, and extensions of You such as Your wife, and Your family, and Your job and Your ministry, and Your preferences and Your standards. You can produce , on demand, a custom fitted list of excuses and alibis to excuse You's behavior and  cast the light of scrutiny somewhere else. You can be quite hard to live with, you!
  A subset of the  villainy that is You can be found in Me. I personally get so sick of Me sometimes that I (not that I is  really any more pleasant) have tried to leave Me at home  so that  Ic an  act like a civilized person for a while instead of an 160 lb  4 year old.  But it seems  like no matter where I go, Me is there when I arrive.
  That’s the bad news, but the good news is this, not only is You the problem, but You is the only  one in the  scenario that You have any control over anyway! Now that brings us to the big question: what are you going to do about You?
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