Some Things I Know

She was 86, I believe, and the last time we had knocked on her door a couple of years  ago she had refused to talk to us. But the ministry being what it is, Darnel and myself once again found ourselves on her doorstep.  She answered the door in her housecoat and I went into my usual  routine.
  "Hello , we're from Camden Baptist Church and we're out here giving out these gospel tracts. They have some Bible verses in them about the  Lord Jesus Christ."
  She refused.  You see, she has been an active Jehovah Witness for  over half a century.  She claimed  that either her dad or her grandad had been around when that particular organization got it's start.  She told us about her door-knocking in support of the Brooklyn-based cult.  She told us about how much this part of town had changed. She  had known Darnell as a boy, and  had known his parents.  She talked, and she talked, and she talked some more. In 86 years she had  seen a lot of things come, and a lot of things  go.
  I asked here my  usual  JW questions. I asked her to define the gospel, and I asked her how a person could get their sins forgiven.   She admonished me to  call God by his name Jehovah.  I told her that while Jehovah is certainly a valid name for God according to the Bible, that is was equally  valid to call him  by one of his other names;  Jesus Christ.  Her definition of the gospel was some sort of nebulous kingdom concept, a response I've heard from more  than one Russelite.
  I asked her if I was  dying, with no time to make amends for my sins against God, what hope  could the watchtower teachings offer me just before I step out into eternity. She admitted that there would  be no hope for a person in that situation. I asked her again how a person gets their sins forgiven. She had no answer.
  Now think about this.  She  is more than twice my age, and has been  actively involved in her religion since my mom was  a teenager, and yet has no idea how to  get her sins forgiven. She knows  the names of her  kids and her grandkids. She knows the name of the men  who used to  own all that land where the paper mill used to be. She knows, no doubt how to cook and clean and care for children. She knows how to garden. But the one thing that really matters in life she does not know, and despite a lifetime spent  working her way to  heaven, is unprepared to face God. That time spent  studying her New World Translation, and  those years spent spreading the Russellite doctrine have done absolutely nothing to wipe away or deal with her guilt before God.  Those people have lied to her and bound her in eternal chains of falsehood.  She has passed those lies onto others, and those lies are as much a part of her now as her own name.  Without God's intervention she will drop off into  the lake of fire thinking that she had done right , and believing that she had met God's expectation of her.
  I may not  know much. I'm useless as a carpenter, and hopeless as a mechanic. I still don't know much about being a husband or a father.  But I do know a couple of things,. I know that God took the  vile mess of a life I brought to him, and he fixed it.  The evidence for that is all around me. I know that he continues to fix it even as I try to mess it up. And I know that I know that I know that my sins are forgiven.  Oh, what a thing to know!
  I'll probably never live to be 86.  But  by God's mercy, and by God's grace, I am prepared for what is on the other side. I know that I know that I know that God has given me eternal life, and that life is in his son.

Dear Officer

   Recently one of my favorite people posted this on social media.

   Now this person means well, and I'm pretty sure this didn't originate with them, but I feel a response to this is necessary. So, for your consideration, my own version of 'Dear Officer'

Dear Officer,

  I want you to know that I see you.  I see you driving around on your cell phone in between bouts of pulling people over for talking on their cell phones. I see you  harassing men for preaching the gospel in public. I see you at traffic stops, not because the driver has  actually done committed a crime, but because your real job is to bring in money for the  state via ticket-writing.  I see you arresting people for filming you while doing your job. I see you drive past the man stuck in the ditch so that you can  bother the man going  2 miles over the  completely made-up speed limit.  I see you drive past the man walking down the side of the road whose car has broken down so that you can get to  the donut shop.  I see you, and your bosses,  dispatching a SWAT team to serve a warrant. I see you serving as a crime scene historian,  dutifully taking notes after the crime has occurred and, unless a lead falls out of the sky and lands in your lap, going no further. I also see that no amount of money or manpower is too much if another officer  has been wronged. I see you executing  no-knock warrants to the  wrong house and killing the inhabitants. I see you  killing unarmed men because you felt 'threatened'.  I see you lording your status over the populace, and glorying in the hero worship. I see that if you  kill a man while on the job, you keep your job and are given several days to get your story straight before you are questioned.  I see your fellow officers lie for you, and cover for you. I see that you aren't a 'peace officer' but rather in 'law enforcement', which is a totally  different mindset.  I see you armed with para-military gear. I see you deploying tear gas against the people you've sworn to protect. I see you arresting  people for possession of  a plant. I see the 'us versus them' mentality in your eyes. I see that you are flesh and bones like me, that your  uniform shouldn't give you less accountability, but yet it does.

Adventures with Neo, Part 1:The Cops

  I have a co-worker, whom I have mentioned before, and whom I have nicknamed 'Neo'. He is a nice guy, a 20 year military veteran with a wife and  2 kids.  He is the GOP black sheep from a  family of staunch Democrats and he is convinced that, although the GOP may have temporarily have lost their way, they remain the  last best hope for our republic.  He foams at the mouth with opposition at Mr. Obama and thinks Mr Bush could do no wrong.    In many ways he represents the  dyed in the wool law and order Republican base who never saw a foreign entanglement they didn't like ( unless a Democrat was doing it).  Conversations with him regarding the  topics of the day are always a  strange mix of pain and pleasure as his convoluted logic manifests itself.   I thought it would be interesting to recreate, to the best of my recollection some of our  interchanges here.
  The latest topic was on the Christopher Dorner case, which is admittedly old news, but I think is relevant because of the peek it gives us into cop culture.  We now join the conversation already in progress.

 MSA:  Ok, take that guy out in California, the guy that they say killed those  cops
 NEO: Yeah?
MSA: He kills a cop or two or three, whatever the number was, and they stopped the entire state of California looking for this guy.  They even killed some people accidentally that they thought were him.
NEO: So?
MSA: So?  If  he had killed just  some guy on the street, if he had killed you or me, how much effort and money and manpower would they have expended looking for  him?
NEO: I don't get your point.
MSA: My point is they wouldn't have.  But remember they had him caught in that cabin out in the middle of nowhere? They  cleared all the schools out for miles around!  I mean, c'mon, he is surrounded by not only every cop in the  state of California, but by  tons and tons of media. He was surrounded! There is  absolutely no way that he is  getting out of that cabin, and hoofing it 20 miles to the nearest school!
NEO:  He was a dangerous man, Mike. I  don't understand you. You  just think peopel can run around  nilly-willy and kill cops with no  consequences.
MSA:  Umm, no I don't, and nothing I said  would even indicate that, but whatever. Don't you think that's overkill?
NEO: What you don't get Mike, is that  cops have a dangerous job. They put their lives on the line every single day.
MSA: If that's true, then  why do most cops never discharge their weapon during their entire career?
NEO: Look, if you went on a ride-along you'd understand  how hard it is to deal with the  worst our society has to offer, and how they deserve our respect.
MSA: People that burn down cabins to get their man don't deserve a whole lot of respect.
NEO: Their lives were threatened, Mike!
MSA: By one guy in cabin?
NEO: Yes!
MSA: How?
NEO ( frustrated pause )  Mike, somebody had to look at the situation and make a judgment call on the appropriate response. Whoever that was, he made the call to evacuate those schools, and if he's wrong, it's on his head.
MSA: So that WASN'T overkill?
NEO: I don't think so.
MSA: Evacuating  thousands of schoolkids  that were literally  miles and miles away while you had the guy cornered wasn't too much? Who pays for that? 
NEO: Would you be happier if the cops were all dead?
MSA: Nobody said that.
NEo: Have you had their training? Do you know what it's like to live in fear of your life?
MSA: Sure,everything I deal with a cop.
NEO: It's simple. Obey the rules, do whatever the policeman asks you to, and you have nothing to fear.
MSA:  UNLESS I'm some  85 year old woman lying in my bed when the cops execute a  no-knock warrant at the wrong house and kill  me in my bed. UNLESS I'm a 12 year old  with a BB gun in a park.
NEO:  You just want cops to die, Mike, and I don't understand it!  They are there to protect you!

 See what I'm dealing with?

Princess Peril

 

A few years back, the marketing  androids at the Disney (We Own Everything) Corporation began one of the most successful branding schemes of my lifetime.They scooped up all of the  major female characters in their stable of  characters and rebranded them as 'princesses'. Some of it  made sense.  I mean, Snow White married the prince, so she has some pretty solid princess credentials. Ditto for  Sleeping Beauty. Ariel's dad was king of the whole ocean, making her a legitimate princess. And I will grant you that Pocahontas' father was the chief, which  is sort of like a king, but it's a stretch.  Belle from Beauty and the Beast spends 99% of the film as a peasant however, and the girl from The Frog Prince?   You have to draw the line somewhere. Continuity aside, these 'princesses' were linked together in some nebulous sort of sisterhood appearing together on every piece of merchandise that Disney could envision.
  Little girls began to have princess-themed birthday parties with every  little girl dressing up as a different member of the Disney pantheon.  There are  cups and plates and  poofy dresses and coloring books and direct to video hachet-job cartoons. There are  brushes and combs and toothpastes and curtains and bedsheets. You could probably burn down your house and replace all of your belongings with something from the Princess merchandise line.
 I am the father of a beautiful 8 year old girl, and so I speak with  more than just a little experience here. We have been awash in princess paraphernalia for some time and as the money flows ceaselessly from my wallet, I have given this  more than just a little thought.  My wife, as usual,claims that I am over thinking it all. Perhaps she's right, but humor me for a moment, dear reader.
  In case you were wondering, I really am a Neanderthal , and I completely embrace gender roles.My daughter plays with dolls because I hope that she will grow up to be a wife and a mother, and my sons play with guns and swords because I hope  they will mature into defenders of home and hearth. The seeds of adulthood are sowed in the heroes of childhood. Having said that, what do our daughters learn from a princess obsession?
 There has probabaly never been a group of people more useless than royalty, and princesses are the most useless of the this useless group.  Most Princesses are spoiled royal brats living off the taxpayers while waiting for someone to die so they can be queen.  They are catered to in every way, and served in every way.  They wear fancy clothes, eat the best food and  never once develop a callous.  Their days are spent planning balls, and celebrating themselves.  Occasionally one of them will try to get involved in some cause or another that they really don't understand, and their solutions will usually be far worse than whatever it is they are trying to fix.
  By contrast, the Bible commands women to be ".. in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;"  It says that they are to be "... to be sober , to love their husbands, to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" They are to commanded to " be in subjection to your own husbands" and have "chaste conversation coupled with fear" with "the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit".  The "virtuous woman" of Proverbs 31 wasn't sitting around  admiring herself or trying on the newest tiara; she was working, serving those of her household.  She  rose up early, and worked late.  She didn't fritter away time on Facebook.  The truth is, Cinderella was a lot closer to God's idea of a good woman BEFORE the prince came calling.
  I just think it's unfair to our girls for them to spend so much of their childhood indulging the fantasy of being the beloved center of attention when they could be taught to serve. I think that, while Disney makes a quick buck, we parents are doing a potential disservice to our girls by introducing them to the notion that being catered to is the ultimate lifestyle.  I think that mindset, to some degree, will stay with them into their  teen and young adult years.  They will be looking for Prince Charming to show up and whisk them away to a house where somebody else does the dishes.  And if that's what our boys have to choose from as potential wives, we just might be cheating them too.

And So It Begins..

 Last night we attended a watch-night service at a church in our community. I have some dear friends who attend there and  had lobbied to get me into the roster of preachers that were supposed to preach that night.  That didn't work out, but I was given a few minutes to talk about the work, particularly the past and my future plans in regards to the Philippines.  How do you sum up who you are, and what you do and  what you hope to do in such a time? Apparently you can't, because my wife's testimony was that I wasn't "making any sense.",  This is particularly vexing because she is as familiar with the subject as I am, so if she was confused then...yikes!
  Some of you know this, and some of you don't.  We recently left the church where we've attended and served for 12 years.  You'll find no criticism of the ministry or people of that church here; we simply saw a more fruitful future elsewhere, but the 'elsewhere' remains a problem.
  I have been saved for almost 20 years and I have never not had a church home.  It's a strange feeling.  This Sunday will be the first Sunday in years that I haven't taught the Bible to somebody.  I'll go door-knockiing Friday, but for the first time in 2 decades it won't be as a part of a church, but rather out of loyalty to my partner. Like I said; a strange feeling.
  Thus I begin my new year trying to find a home that will accept me and my ministry.  I then have to establish myself in that work enough so that somebody will endorse me as a missionary. From then I can begin to establish financial support for this endeavor.  Very few churches will take a capable worker in the ministry and dispatch him somewhere else to their own loss.  I also have to settle my wife's heart about all this and get her to the Philippines where she can see for herself (hopefully) the future that I see.
  In light of all this, the theme for 2015 appears to be 'Uphill All the Way.'

Where Are the Shackeltons?

 In 1914, Ernest Shackleton began preparations, both materially and financially for what he dubbed "The Imperial Trans-Arctic Expedition".  The goal was simple; to be the first men to cross the continent of Antarctica.  A journey of that sort requires supplies and backing, but it also requires men who possess  more than just a little bit of the spirit of adventure.  Shackleton, sensing this, ran the preceding advertisement in the newspaper.  His interest wasn't so much as what was in a man's head as what was in a man's heart.  He understood that you can buy brains, but you can't buy character.
  Amazingly, thousands of men saw the ad, and over 5,000 responded.  Along the journey their ship, the Endurance, was entombed in the Artic ice and the expedition had to be abandoned.  The rest of their journey was a journey of survival, in which the crew made it's way across the ice, and a majority of the crew had to stay behind on the continent while Shackelton and two other men went for help. Even then, the rescue was delayed by weather and the men who answered the ad were forced to wait in man-killing cold and deprivation.  Impossibly, all but three men made it home, and it's a fascinating story. 
  What's particularly fascinating to me is that it did not have to happen that way. The men who answered this ad could just as easily perished on the ice,and they knew it.They left behind comfort, security ,and family in order to be part of a grand and glorious adventure.  I don't know if it was the spirit of the age or simply Shackletons powerful vision, but men responded,and put their very lives on the line for something that could have ended in unspeakable tragedy.
  As Christians, God calls us to be a part of a grand and glorious adventure; the ministry.  He promises us a hazardous journey but a journey with a fruitful end.  Yet so many of us look to the ends of the earth and then cast an eye back towards the safety and familiarity of that which is known.  We live in a quagmire of our own comfort, never daring to really risk anything for God.  We  anticipate that somebody else will reach the lost, somebody else will preach the gospel, somebody else will leave all to teach the Bible.  Truthfully, most people are already experiencing as much  discomfort and persecution for Jesus Christ as they desire.  I mean, I know Jesus Christ  endured the contradiction of sinners against himself for me, but give up Starbucks? Are you  mad?  Go knock on a stranger's door and talk to them about their soul? You must be insane! Preach in public?  What are you, some sort of weirdo?
  I fear that the spirit of Shackleton age has left us.  Honestly, in the  grand scheme of things, if no one had EVER crossed Antarctica it would have very little bearing on the lives of anyone.  The things God has called us to do, however, are eternal in nature, and  bear results long after this world will have passed away.  But are any of us willing to do it?

The Popeye Preacher

"I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam"-Popeye

  Trust me, this will all make sense by the time that I'm done. Maybe.
  I recently made a trip to the Philippines to help out a  dear friend and  mentor of mine. While I was there I  fell in love with what is going on over there, and it is my hearts desire to return with my family and minister there indefinitely. That sort of work requires outside funding and as an independent Baptist, the way those funds are usually procured is a  process by which the  missionary-wanna-be travels around to various churches asking for a financial commitment towards the ministry.  were I  to join some sort of denomination or convention this process  might be easier, but at a cost of autonomy or doctrinal compromise.
  It has been made clear to me that, in the minds of some, I am horribly inadequate for this task, and they are probably right. I have been told that I don't have the personality for such an endeavor. I have been told that nobody will like me, and nobody will support me.  I , in the minds of some, am unqualified, anti-social, uncouth, and  too dogmatic.
  I also have no knack for self-promotion, and on this point I must agree with my critics.  I know of a  younger fellow in the ministry that  has a rather dominant (at least in my estimation) social media presence.  He is on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, and he literally has thousands of followers.  As he travels and does his thing he puts up pictures and  what-not.  Hundreds of people comment on his activities and he is booked  for meetings years in advance.  It's really  quite remarkable to me how he has achieved near-celebrity status in our circles and how he makes it look easy.  This is not a criticism; I genuinely wish I had a 'feel' for such things.
  But as my favorite one-eyed sailor would say "I ain't no tailor but I know what suits me".  I am , as much as anybody can be, exactly what I appear to be. I'm not smooth-talking or glib. I say stuff I shouldn't on occasion and  unfortunately, way too often I do things I shouldn't. I am gruff sometimes and  rude from time to time. I consider  brutal honesty a sign of respect. I have no 'sugar-coat' button  in my head. I'd rather go through something than go around it. I don't have  bulgy arms ( but not from lack of trying)  or tattoos and I don't smoke a pipe but I do want to hit people from time to time.
  I preach the Bible with very little fanfare. I am  a laborer in word and doctrine, and in the ministry. I may not be  as smooth as you or as handsome as you or as glib as you, but I will work you into the ground trying to keep up with me. I  adore doctrine , and I believe public ministry is the highest form of evangelism.  I will preach what I think is right, even if it costs me, and I've proven that. I'm sure there are ways to explain things  and ways to present things that would make me more effective, and in that area I am still learning, but  I cannot change the core of who I am. You will never have to worry what version of Michael Alford you're dealing with, and as much as  you would think  such genuineness would be an asset, it doesn't appear to be.
  I  am told that I need to  'market' myself, but I don't even know where to start.  Obviously  going to a group of strangers and  telling them what I just told you  probably isn't the best tactic.  Though I have no doubt that my honesty would resound with some people (us knuckleheads can always spot our own), many Christians have never seen anything like me come down the pike.
  If on the off chance you are looking for exactly that sort of guy to send out, I present myself to you as someone willing to  go in your stead and minister in a foreign land.  I'm Popeye the Preacher man.